[UPDATE: I no longer hold with most of the opinions expressed on this page, although I won’t entirely disown it. So this post is still here merely to serve as a record. After all, that’s what most of the posts here are for.]
A Dr. Rangel, a well-known blogger and MD, offered this recipe for impressing a woman:
Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Support her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Listen to her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Romance her, Encourage her, Believe in her, Pray with her, Pray for her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.
Just imagine substituting “him” for “her” in this passage, and telling women to do it. “I want to be his girlfriend, not his slave” would be a reasonable response.
What is Robin’s lesson? Men take a lot of abuse in our society, but rarely complain about it. Why not? Because when men complain, they look weak and get mocked.
Paranoid? Consider: You hear that a woman’s husband is cheating on her. Your likely reaction: Sympathy. OK, what if you hear that a man’s wife is cheating on him? Your likely reaction: Poorly suppressed laughter.
Similarly, how do you react when you hear that a man’s wife “won’t let him” do something? “Ha ha, he’s whipped.” What if you heard that a woman’s husband “won’t let her” do something? “How awful – how can she live like that?”
We usually think that people who complain have a raw deal. What Robin points out, though, is that the people with the rawest deals don’t complain because the world won’t listen.
Any thoughts? I completely agree, for the record, except for the fact that I don’t think MOST of my friends would laugh at the man who’s wife is cheating on him. *I do suspect-hell, am pretty sure- that some would, though, whereas nobody does anything but sympathize with the woman who is being cheated on. You can point out that this is a relatively new development, and that the flip side is far worse for women in societies where they ARE discriminated against, but that doesn’t change the facts here, or the conclusion it suggests about most of the developed world.
PS: I was looking for a better title for this post and (on a tangential path) I was wondering, whats the latin root for men? I ask, because misogynists hate women, but misanthropes hate mankind in general i.e. all humans…ok, latent sexism there, but is that the only reason, or is there a better equivalent? I’m pretty sure I saw something a while back, but I can’t seem to remember it now.
*Apparently not. See the comments. Yet another reminder that we need to be careful about possible selection biases, points of view and emotional attachments when trying to decide a logical question.