IRC Rap

This is awesome. Check out more from bash.org. The site is really old, I think, but a lot of it is funny. Do people even use IRC any more? Everyone’s stuck in their walled facebook gardens 😦 .

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<djahandarie> we ain’t here to do e-c-e
<djahandarie> we’re here to do c-s-e on the w-e-b
<djahandarie> listen to me spit these rhymes
<djahandarie> while i program lines
<djahandarie> and commit web accessibility crimes
<djahandarie> word, son
<http402> You talk like your big on these I-Net kicks,
<http402> But your shit flows slower than a two-eighty-six.
<http402> I’m tracking down hosts and nmap scans,
<http402> While Code Igniter’s got you wringing your hands.
<http402> Cut the crap rap,
<http402> Or I’ll run ettercap,
<http402> Grab your AIM chat,
<http402> N’ send a PC bitch-slap!
<http402> peace
<djahandarie> you’re talkin bout down hosts and nmap scans
<djahandarie> while i got other plans
<djahandarie> you’re at your new job, but you can’t even do it right
<djahandarie> you just create a plight with your http rewrites
<djahandarie> i’ve been on the web since the age of three
<djahandarie> you just got on directly off the bus from mississippi
<djahandarie> respect yo’ elders, bitch
<http402> You’ve been webbin’ since three, but still ain’t grown up,
<http402> Gotta update your config and send the brain a SIGHUP.
<http402> You say you’re that old? No wonder you’re slow!
<http402> You’re knocking at the door while I run this show!
<http402> Elders my ass, you’re shit’s still in school,
<http402> Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool,
<http402> Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool,
<http402> Face it. I rule.
<djahandarie> i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch)
<djahandarie> all you can do is troll on the fagnets
<djahandarie> and son, my brain’s wrapped in a nohup
<djahandarie> it wont be hurt by the words you throwup
<djahandarie> dont mind me while i emerge my ownage
<djahandarie> while you’re still over there apt-getting your porridge
<djahandarie> you say i’m still in school
<djahandarie> but the fact is that i know the rule
<djahandarie> cuz you need to go back to grade three
<djahandarie> and you better plea, that they take sucky graduates from c-s-e
<http402> Time to bend over and apply a patch,
<http402> Your brain’s throwing static like a CD with a scratch.
<http402> Your connection got nuked and you’ve met your match.
<http402> You run a single process like a VAX with a batch.
<http402> I’d pass the torch to a real winner
<http402> But it’d just scorch a while-loop spinner
<http402> Caught in a loop that you cant escape,
<http402> I run clock cycles around your words and flows,
<http402> Cuz your rhyme is like a PS fan: it’ blows,
<http402> Your water-cooled lyrics leak and it shows,
<http402> Take your ass back to alt.paid.for.windows.
<djahandarie> Good god, I can’t even respond to that. 😛
<djahandarie> You win haha
* http402 takes a bow

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And this. Only works if you’ve at least heard of the movie, of course 😀 :

SparTacus (rulimbaww@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
*SparTacus is now known as Betty_Guns
wacko Jacko (lbeedy@1C57684.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
<wacko_Jacko>ok spartacus just came n here i know it. which one of you is that loser?
<hunney> I am spartacus
<ji_pper>no im spartacus
<Betty_Guns>I am spartacus
<mistr andersn>I’m spartacus
<wacko_Jacko>ur all freaks thats what u r

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2 thoughts on “IRC Rap

  1. ” Elders my ass, you’re shit’s still in school,
    Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool,
    Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool,
    Face it. I rule.
    i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch)
    all you can do is troll on the fagnets
    and son, my brain’s wrapped in a nohup
    it wont be hurt by the words you throwup”

    n1 mate!

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