What is “Too Nice”?

Ben Casnocha asks on twitter:

What exactly is annoying about people who are “too nice”? You suspect it’s a put-on? Unchecked idealism? Dull / boring?

And… I have to say, I have no idea. I do tend to get annoyed with people who are too nice, but it’s not any of the three above; I think it’s that for some reason I see such unrestrained niceness or selflessness as somehow indicative of stupidity, and I’m just a great big snob. Perhaps that can come under the “unchecked idealism” objection?

Interestingly, an acquaintance of mine who is reasonably intelligent has, in the past, referred to herself as “too nice”, and I have always vehemently disagreed (silently, I mean, I didn’t tell her that 🙂 ). And she is “nice” in general, I suppose, although not to the same level as the people who annoy me. But then that’s a rather subjective assessment.I wonder if the effect works in reverse, as well.

Some reactions on twitter are interesting:

Rebecca Rapple
rebeccarapple: @bencasnocha Lack of independence — you want a conversation, not an echo chamber!
Jeff Huber
jeffreyhuber: @bencasnocha niceness seems to be normal dist with time as the x axis. Too nice too soon assumes relationship. Too nice too late, dishonesty.
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3 thoughts on “What is “Too Nice”?

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